Happy Veterans Day: One mama's story of her service

Leading up to today's holiday, I have been telling my girls of the service that both of my grandfathers had provided for our country.  My grandfathers risked so much - their lives, their families, their wives, their children.  Some of their stories not only bring tears to my eyes, but they also make tears flow from my eyes.  Flipping through the latest status updates on Facebook, one of our mama friends said that she:

went to the Veterans Day Assembly at [my daughter's] school today...and cried like a baby. ha! So proud of my baby girl singing her heart out...and she was so proud to tell her teacher her mommy was a Veteran. So sweet.

 

I asked if she would share her story of her service with us, and she writes:

 

I joined the Air Force right out of High School. I wanted to go to college, but my family couldn’t afford it. The Air Force seemed like a good way for me to a.) get the heck out of my small Missouri town and b.) go to college. I was a Personnel Specialist in the Air Force—which in civilian terms is kind of like a Human Resource Specialist. After Basic Training , where I learned how to fold t-shirts and underwear into precise, perfect squares(even using tweezers to make sure all corners were “flushed”), I moved on to Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS for my job training. I then received my assignment to Beale AFB in Northern CA, where I would spend four years. It was my first time being on my own and I was thrown into life. I loved it! I made friends for life there and that, in itself, I am truly grateful for. I was a member of the Base Honor Guard and got to perform at a lot of the Base Functions and I also participated in many many funerals. I was one of the service women who stood on the sidelines at Veteran funerals and paid tribute with the 21-gun salute and would help fold the flag and present it to the next of kin. I silently cried every single time. Those were amazing experiences for me.

My goal of going to college didn’t happen in those first four years…so I decided to re-enlist and make going to college a priority during my second enlistment. I received orders to Okinawa Japan and served my remaining four years there. The island of Okinawa is so beautiful and it was so awesome living among the people there. I worked in the Special Operations Squadron there and really enjoyed my job. The good thing about my job, is that it was pretty 9 – 5ish. There were a few times I had to be away for deployments—I spent some time in Guam as well as Hawaii—but for the most part, it was kind of like a normal job. The whole time I was in Okinawa, I worked during the day and went to school in the evenings. The University of Maryland had a campus there and would take over the on- base schools in the evening and offer classes to Military personnel. After my four years there I was able to complete my BS degree from the University of Maryland. I decided then to separate from the military and move on with my life.

I didn’t have children while I was in the Air Force, but so many of my friends did. I remember the sacrifices that they had to go through when having to be away from their families. In the military, you get 6 weeks of maternity leave…I think about that now and can’t even imagine only having 6 weeks with a newborn before having to go back to work full time, sometimes twelve hours a day. It truly is a sacrifice that these men and women make .

I still have so many friends who are still serving this great country of ours. To be honest, there are days where I miss the “family” feeling of being in the Air Force. If I would have stayed in, I could retire next year. Ha! It was truly an amazing experience for me and I look back at that time with so much pride and gratitude.

To the mamas, papas, grandpas, and grandmas among us who have served or who do serve our country, we thank you.  We welcome you to share the stories of your loved ones who have contributed in this way.

Alone in the car: not until they're 18?

I have very recently become a mama to three offspring.  Lordly-lord, it can be tough to mobilize these young folk.  Getting out the door means three jackets, three pairs of shoes (or foot coverings), three bags of their own stuff.  Then, getting into and out of the car is yet another challenge. 

Sometimes, my 9-year old asks if she can stay in the car while I fetch the younger siblings.  I say, "sure".  Why not?  She's sitting reading in the car parked right in front of the school.  If we were down the block from where I was going, I wouldn't do it.  Then, the other day, she asked if she could stay in the car while I did some grocery shopping.  While I was reaaallllllly tempted, I decided against it.  And, for some reason, only then did it occur to me that I didn't know what the law was here in Oregon (every state has its own motor vehicle laws) about leaving your kids in the car alone.

It looks like Oregon law is sort of open-ended, as ORS 163.545 states:

 A person having custody or control of a child under 10 years of age commits the crime of child neglect in the second degree if, with criminal negligence, the person leaves the child unattended in or at any place for such period of time as may be likely to endanger the health or welfare of such child.

... which means to say that leaving a child under 10 alone in a car could or could not be considered neglect?  So it depends on the circumstances?

Well, if that's the case, what are your thoughts on leaving a child alone in the car?  Have you done it?  Under what circumstances?  Will you never do it?  Will you do it under certain circumstances only?

Do you hide your hooters?

Ah, the joys of nursing.  There are so many!  Between my first two children, I nursed over five years.  We would nurse everywhere -- on subways, on street corners, in parks, in restaurants, in churches during wedding ceremonies at which I was in the bridal party, on - one of the more nostalgic spots -- the floor of the World Trade Center (pre-September 11, 2001) waiting for the TKTS line to open.  Never in that half-decade did I have more than a shawl or napkin or burpie cloth to cover the excess flesh exposed when I had to whip out a nam-nam to nurse.  Nowadays, there are nursing covers galore.  There are hats, shawls, and specially-engineered cloths with a wire to allow for an opening so you can maintain eye contact with the nursing babe.

Or, there is nothing.

I am the sort of mama who doesn't so much care about the exposure.  My breasts are made for nursing, and that's just what they'll do.  Cover or not.  But just recently, as a welcome baby gift for our newest addition, a friend sent a hand-made hooter-hider, the sort with the wire that will allow for the eye-to-eye contact with nursing babe.  I love it.  It makes it so easy to find just a little bit of privacy.  It's funny because I never so much cared before.

Which makes me wonder: do you/did you use a nursing wrap or shawl?  Do you/did you carefully cover up when nursing?  or, do you/did you just do what you had to do and nurse whenever, wherever, without concern for covering up?

Memories of a Belly Cast

I was telling some friends the other night how with our first child, my husband and I did the belly cast thing and I ended up crying because I sneezed before it was dry and it ended up all stretched out and misshapen.  At the time it seemed like such a big deal, perfectly documenting the belly that nurtured our first born (not to mention those huge breasts that have never been seen since).  I felt a little bit of guilt that I never did one for our second child, but with our third child it never even crossed my mind. 

The belly cast hung on the wall in our nursery for several years and even survived a move to our second home.  But sadly, it didn't make it through last summer's purging of the garage.  The belly cast that had driven me to tears ended up in the trash along with socks with no mates and the directions for the ice cream maker we no longer had.  I get a little nostalgic thinking about it, but the pregnancy years feel so (thankfully) far behind us now and I have this sneaking suspicion that my nearly 7-year-old son won't care any more in 30 years than he does now about what my belly looked like when I carried him.  So mamas, did you do a belly cast for your children? What did you do with them and do you still have them?

Recommendations for Pediatric Ophthalmologist?

While we have had previous threads with suggestions on where to get glasses for the little folk (here and here), we have yet to talk about ophthalmologists you would recommend.  An urbanMama recently emailed:

I have noticed my 7 year old squinting quite a lot recently and since my husband and I both wear glasses, we're thinking it's time for a real vision exam.  I received the advice that we should see an ophthalmologist rather than an optometrist, but I'm always afraid to just pick someone randomly from our provider list.  Anyone have a pediatric ophthalmologist they recommend?

Back to school W(h)ine night!

*** This event has been rescheduled***

Call in the spouses and the babysitters, mama needs a night out!  We're getting in the groove of waking up on time, packing lunches, and doing homework.  Now let's all come together and W(h)ine about it a bit, shall we?  Please RSVP in the comments so we can tell our lovely hosts how many mamas to expect!  See you there!!!  (photo by Sarah Gilbert)

Date:  Wednesday, November 4th
Time:  7:30 PM
Location:  Alu Wine Bar, 2831 NE MLK Jr Blvd

Join us, 11.08.2009: Coffee Playdate meets Chinook Book Coupon Swap

The expiration date of the 2009 Chinook Book coupons is fast approaching (November 30, 2009), so we thought it'd be a good idea to swap it up.  Have some Chinook Book coupons you won't use?  Come share them with other mamas and papas who will.  Have some Chinook Book coupons you're looking for?  Come see if other mamas and papas have them to spare.

Even if you don't have coupons to swap, still come on by and coffee playdate with us to chat, meet, and play.  Let's meet up at Posie's Cafe, a new neighborhood coffee shop in North Portland with a swell little enclosed play area for the little ones.  Say next Sunday, November 8, 2009, at 11am?  Who's in?

Pray tell: how do you calm the fussiest of them?

As the mama of a newborn, I have been visiting with many other mamas of newborns - some of them first time mamas, others second- or third-time mamas.  Regardless of how many may have come before, a fussy babe is never easy.  Even the most experienced of us can feel helpless and frustrated by our inability to calm our offspring.

One of my mama friends said she tried everything to calm her babe.  Her bag of tricks included:

gripe water? CHECK
football hold? CHECK
deep lunges/squats while in the moby or ergo? CHECK
white noise machine or fan? CHECK
exercise ball? CHECK
car ride? CHECK
swaddle? CHECK
5ss? CHECK
pacifier? CHECK
cosleeping? CHECK
lame attempt at cry it out? CHECK

Well, what has worked for you and your fussy baby?  Tips and tricks to soothe?  Tips and tricks to keep mama sane?

 

Cord-Banking: Have you done it?

Mamas, I honestly have no idea on this one.  Might you have some thoughts or experience to share with this urbanMama?

I've got 3 boys and another on the way and my mom really wants me to bank the cord blood this time. I've been reading about it, found a cost comparison chart along with basic services, but I was wondering how many families have actually done it and what did they base their decision on when choosing a company? Also, at what age, if applicable, did you decide to stop paying the annual fee?  I read somewhere you had to be registered by the third trimester (which is coming up soon!) and now I'm panicking that I need to make a decision this week.

Activistas on: health care, workplace policy, safe cosmetics, yada yada

After a week or two of muttering "OMG we have no time to write anything for Activistas," we found some time (at, uh, 1 AM!).  These days (er, nights) we're talking about:

• 11.4.09 is Women's Day of Action for Health Care Reform.  You've probably seen the slogan "Being a woman is not a pre-existing condition."  Of course, it IS.  Right?  Been denied health care because you had gestational diabetes?  Pay higher premiums because you had a C-section?  If not you, then likely some mama friend or other has.

• Will a Senate bill contain a public option? After lots of work making one bill out of two (from the HELP and Finance committees, respectively), Senate majority leader Harry Reid said this week that a Senate version of health care reform will include a public option.  Good news!   Not to be ungrateful, but... 

• Ms. Magazine has 5 ideas to make our lives way better.  Ms. calls it paycheck feminism.  I don't care what they call it.  I'm just glad that so many people are talking about it.   Here's a favorite blurb from the Ms. article, which argues that with women nearing 50% of the workplace, it's time to rethink the government policies that were designed for a (wildly) different time...

•  What health care reform means to women, from a (woman) Senator.  Hear Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) talk about why women need heath care reform - more than men, and how it should look. As so many people are saying, being a woman shouldn't be a pre-existing condition. But too often, it is.

• Join The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics.  Here's a fun fact:  How many chemicals do you think have been banned from cosmetics in the European Union?  1,100!  How many in the good 'ol United States?  9.  That's right.  Nine!

• Mothers ought to have equal rights, right?  I had lunch with Valerie Young earlier this week.  She pays close attention to the policy and politics of the issues that affect us mothers in the nation's capital.  She's like the eyes and ears of mothers everywhere - in DC.  Right where we need her!

• Let's choose, but let's do it together.   When I had my first child, I quickly realized that my "choice" to work or not work was seriously constrained by economic and cultural forces that were well beyond my control.  Last week, a new census report confirmed what I and so many others learned the hard way...

Got an issue that you're all riled up about?  There are plenty to go around.  If you're dying to share it, send your guest post to us at activistas [dot] gmail [dot] com.  We'll happily post it (unless it's wildly off topic or profane, that is).    

PS - Family Forward Oregon has a Facebook page as of about 2 days ago.  Join them to discuss and share all there is to say about creating (right) a Family Forward Oregon. 

Weekend Warriors: October 30-November 1

Safe and happy haunting!

Friday

The Lonely Little Pumpkin:  A lively puppet show treat from Penny Puppets that is sure to entertain all. $5 each or 4 for $17.  The Off Broadway (Central Lutheran Church fellowship hall, 1820 NE 21st), 10:00 am.

Ghoulish Gathering: Gooey crafts, monstrous activities and a showing of the 1990 movie Hocus Pocus (rated PG). $3 per family, Matt Dishman Community Center (77 NE Knott), 6:30-8:30 pm.

Saturday

Saturday Market Trick-or-Treat and Parade: Decorate a candy bag and trick-or-treat through the market before joining other costumed youth in a parade. 12:00-2:00 pm.

Family Halloween Party: Halloween-themed music, crafts, prizes, costume parade, and more. $5/person, $10 /family. Airplay cafe (701 E. Burnside), 11:00 am-1:00 pm.

Multicultural Healthy Kids Fair: Protect your kids from scary toxins at this community event that will provide healthy snacks, free blood and toy lead testing, and other information on healthy homes and child wellness. Sponsored by the Josiah Hill Clinic. 65 NE Stanton. 11:00 am-3:00 pm.

Campbell Salgado Spooky Snapshots: This fund-raiser for the Oregon Food Bank is a chance to capture your child in full costumed regalia. $15 for electronic photo, $20 for a 5x7 print.  Campbell Salgado Studios (8107 SE 16th Avenue). Costume sessions (call to reserve time):10:00 am-12:30 pm and Spooky Snapshots (drop in): 1:00-3:00 pm.

Not So Spooky Stories: Pumpkins, black cats and not so scary stories. Wear a costume if you like and join the parade. Woodstock Library (6008 SE 49th Avenue), 4:30-5:00 pm.

Trick-or-Treat at Kennedy School: Wander the halls of this old (haunted?) school with ale in hand while the kiddos fill their bags with sugary loot. 4:30-6:30 pm.

Tour of Untimely Departures: Older kids might love this family-friendly tour of the Lone Fir Cemetery. Ghostly guides will share some of the cemetery's history as they show you around and share interesting tidbits about the demise of some of the cemetery's inhabitants.  $5 suggested donation. Leaving from 26th and SE Stark, the tour is 45 minutes and will leave between 6:00 and 9:00 pm.

Sunday

Sundays for Families at Portland Art Museum: Every Sunday in November, families can explore the Museum's China Design Now exhibit, with family tours at 12:30, art projects from 1:00-3:00 pm, and storytime from 2:30-3:00 pm. Kids under 17 are free, adults are $12.  

$2 Sundays at OMSI: $2 admission for all, and appropriately for this weekend, the featured exhibit is Scream! Featuring Goosebumps! The Science of Fear. Hours are 9:30 am-5:30 pm. 

Infant CPR - Are you trained?

The last time I went to an infant CPR class was probably when I taught them eons ago in college, when one of the four jobs I juggled was as a CPR instructor.  And, thank goodness I had that background.  When my daughter was not even a year old, she put some celophane/plastic wrapper in her mouth, which had perfectly covered up the airway in her mouth, lodging itself completely stuck.  She began to gasp, gag, choke, and even turn blue in the face, and she couldn't get that wrapper moved.  I saw her struggling and did what I remembered of the Heimlich manuever for babies, holding her body, face down against my forearm (like the football hold), and whacking her powerfully on her back between the shoulder blades.  When that didn't work, my husband peered in her mouth and did a finger sweep and grabbed the culprit out.  SO SCARY.

Well, all of this to say: the Oregon Chapter of the American Red Cross wanted to highlight the new class they are offering. 

Just wanted to send a quick note about the Infant CPR for New Parents class that's happening over at Milagros on Oct. 29. I know you already have it on your calendar (THANK YOU!), but I just wanted to mention that this is the very first time we've ever done a "mini-class" on this topic.
 
We're hoping that enough moms find the info helpful -- even though they won't get official CPR certification -- so that we can continue to offer these shorter, less expensive, non-certification classes in the future. So, if there's any feedback about the class (or ideas for other mom-friendly Red Cross classes in the future), we're very open to hearing it!

Your thoughts on an Infant CPR class for New Parents?  Would you go?  Any other thoughts or feedback?  Any other mama- or baby-centric Red Cross offering you'd like to suggest?

Where to find a "just like me" doll?

When I was growing up, I was acutely aware of the fact that there were very few dolls, celebrities, community leaders, or the like who looked like me.  I had - and still have - medium-brown skin, black hair that is brown in the sunlight, and brown eyes.  As my girls started wanting dolls, I was very particular.  I wanted them to have dolls with a skin-tone similar to theirs.  Now, we have a nice collection of very tan dolls, but I honestly cannot remember from where they came!

We just received an email from another mama who is looking for a plaything that would look more like her daughter.  Any tips?

I have a brown hair, brown eyed caucasaian daughter and I am having a hard time finding a doll that fits her description.  Most of the dolls are blond with blue eyes, though most people are not.  Where can I find a doll that begins to resemble my daughter?

H1N1 Vaccine Update from Multnomah County

Multnomah County wanted to be sure to relay the most recent information possible regarding the H1N1 vaccine clinics, so they emailed:

Oregon vaccine planners as recently as late September were anticipating initial shipments to be small and then ramp up through the end of October, reaching a point where the vaccine would be widely available to the public through multiple channels.

Recently, the Centers for Disease Control announced that unexpectedly low yields from vaccine manufacturers were delaying the roll-out of larger vaccine batches. Vaccine shipments have been at a steady trickle since Oct. 5, with roughly 6,000 to 12,000 doses arriving in Multnomah County each week.

Facing lower initial shipments of H1N1 flu vaccine, the Multnomah County Health Department will focus vaccine that becomes available on two groups at higher risk for flu complications: pregnant women and children under 5.

The county only expects to receive 6,000 doses this week (October 26). There are an estimated 14,000 pregnant women in Multnomah County and an estimated 48,800 children under age 5.

Pregnant women have been hospitalized at five times the rate of the general population; the rate for children under 5 has been 45 percent higher than the general population. The data reflect admissions since September 1 in Multnomah County and are in line with national figures.

Health officials are now making decisions weekly about vaccinations, considering local data and where a limited supply of vaccine can do the most good.  With vaccine continuing to be in short supply, the Multnomah County Health Department has decided to reduce the number of public vaccination sites until vaccine becomes more readily available.

Future vaccination sites will be posted on the county's website, www.mchealth.org. The State of Oregon Flu Hot Line is also a resource to help people determine where they can get a flu shot: 1-800-978-3040

The Health Department also is in charge of distributing vaccines to private medical practices that have asked to be vaccine providers. The department, rather than distribute the vaccine across the board, is placing an emphasis on filling orders placed by obstetricians and pediatricians.

Our Health Department is coordinating with other Health Departments in the region as well as the state to ensure that information is made available to the public as quickly and accurately as possible.  Please visit our website, the state of Oregon's Flu website, and the Center for Disease Control's flu website  for valuable information and resources.

Dear Disney: You didn't make my baby into Einstein

I should have known better; after all, I myself graduated from a couple of rigorous post-high school academic programs. But still, I bought the concept (literally and figuratively) that the Baby Einstein series of DVDs would provide my first son a richer babyhood. I never really thought he'd be made into a certified genius by watching DVDs, but I did think he'd at least pick up some minor smarts from exposure to this heady stuff.

The 'Language Nursery' one had me most enchanted; until I started watching it and wondered, how is this going to teach my baby languages, again? The video consisted mostly of just throwing words and nursery songs at kids without any accompanying explanation. "Frère Jacques," for instance, was accompanied by video of little hands playing with bright-colored toys (now I wonder, darkly, if they were painted with lead-based paint). I could neither understand nor participate; there was no translation, not even a rundown of the lyrics of the lullabies sung in other languages. Later I'd read that there was no worse way to teach children languages than to expose them utterly without context.

We sold our Baby Einstein DVDs on eBay before my second baby was born, and later we learned that, indeed, Baby Einstein videos were not only based on zero infant developmental science but were proven not to make one smarter. The AAP came out with a recommendation that children under two not be exposed to television or DVDs at all. This weekend, the news was even more thundering: after being threatened with a class action lawsuit for false and deceptive advertising (to the most impressionable and defenseless consumers of all, I'd add: new parents), Disney agreed to refund consumers' money for their purchases, should they want it back, $15.99 for up to four Baby Einstein DVDs per household, bought between June 5, 2004, and Sept. 5, 2009, and returned to the company.

That won't provide any monetary help for me... my videos were purchased before June 2004. But that's not really my biggest concern; it's that millions were made deceiving parents about what's good for their babies. "Fostering parent-child interaction always has and always will come first at The Baby Einstein Company, and we know that there is an ongoing discussion about how that interaction is best promoted," said a Disney spokesperson. No, there's no such discussion. We all know now that having a baby watch other babies play with other parents on a screen doesn't teach him or her anything. Actually playing with your baby... interacting on his level sans screentime... is the best way to promote interaction. And it doesn't require a single Disney product, or Mattel, or Hasbro, or Melissa & Doug, or even the super-natural Waldorf toy companies like Maine Toys.

I'd certainly be ill-advised to judge anyone for using so-called "educational" shows to occupy my young children when I'm losing it. A sane mom with kids in front of the TV is probably better than a shouting, hair-tearing mom without a screen in sight. But this whole story provides a lens into the enormous industry of selling intelligence to new parents. With brand names like IQ Baby and Baby Scholars and Neurosmith, it doesn't take a genius to understand how we're being subtly manipulated to feel this will actually separate the eventual results of our children's IQ tests.

It's good to know that baby play is the great economic equalizer: no parent, given the most vast amount of resources imaginable, has a leg up over another parent unless the amount of time he or she can devote to the baby is greater. (I know: this isn't always true given the paucity of maternity leave in our country and the frequent economic necessity of mom working.) But it's important to underscore that, given two at-home parents, one with barely enough money to keep the lights on and the fridge stocked, the other with plentiful disposable income and the entire Baby Einstein oeuvre, both are entirely equally equipped to make their babies smart.

meditations on a family biking life

I pulled up to the alley behind Olivia's house around 8:15 last Wednesday night, my mamabikeorama loaded down with 15 pounds of pears and quinces (I couldn't help stopping at the People's Co-op farmer's market) and an armful or two of clothes for the spontaneous clothing swap she'd planned. I had to laugh as I clumsily maneuvered my bike among the half-dozen mama bikes + Xtracycle and a trailer or two. Only a few of the dozen or so mamas who'd come had driven; and this despite the fact we were all loaded down with the bounty of new clothing and whatever else we were carting around the city. At the end of the night, around 10 p.m., we all pulled out of the narrow spot on the side of the house, laughing as we counted the BoBike seats. Someone said: 'it's like a clown car!' It was a moment of unusual tired joy.

We've all come to this for different reasons and at different speeds. But we're all equally in love with biking (even most of the mamas who drove have family bike setups at home) and committed to spreading the family biking love. We have different levels of comfort with putting our kids on the road; differing budgets for new biking gear; different commutes, different neighborhoods, different alternatives to biking. I think of us as co-inspirators; we're all the inspiration for one another. And we all see the future of transportation as far, far different than it is today. Will we reach the goal of 25% of Portlanders commuting by bike by 2030? It's hard to say, but it won't happen unless mamas like us -- like you -- hop on their bikes and quietly inspire other mamas, papas and kids to shift to the two-wheel (or three) lifestyle, too.

Today, I'm leading another meditation about riding bikes with families (no, there's no yoga or spirituality: all you have to do is listen and breathe) to help kick off the Family Biking Solutions Workshop, part of Oregon Manifest's Family Bicycle Transportation Day. While the workshop itself isn't really kid-friendly due to the limitations of the facility (a "museum environment," someone said), we hope what comes out of it, really will expand the boundaries.

I've made a poster to go with my meditation [pdf link]. Consider it one more co-inspiration. I look forward to expanding my concept of what makes a more family-friendly transportation future --  more options, more unique bikes that work in tiny budgets, more infrastructure, more community, more joy.

Weekend Warriors: October 24-25

You would almost think Halloween was this weekend instead of next, with all the holiday fun already happening! 

Saturday

SCRAP Halloween Costume Making: Get your creative juices flowing as you make costumes out of recycled materials. $10 per costume. SCRAP (2915 NE MLK), 12:00-4:00 pm.

Halloween Spooktacular: Wear your costume to this night of Halloween fun and enjoy games, crafts, and treats. Tickets are 5 for $1. St. Johns Community Center (8427 N. Central), 5:30-8:30 pm.

Costume Carnival: This 12th annual Halloween festival will entertain with carnival games, face painting, and crafts, while wrapping up with a costume parade. Cost is $1 for 4 people, bring 2 cans of food and get 4 people in for free. East Portland Community Center (740 SE 106th),  5:00-7:00 pm.

Spooky Night Hike:  Crafts and games (with prizes), plus a guided, age-appropriate hike (times are assigned when you arrive).  Families with kids 3-6 can visit the fairy trail, while families with older kids will get a spookier adventure after 7:30. $6/person. Tryon Creek State Park. 6:00-9:30 pm.

Free Teen Night at OMSI: A special, free evening at OMSI just for visitors ages 13-18. Teens can explore their newest exhibit, SCREAM!, rock out to a live DJ, ride the Segway, play games, and more. Food and drink available for purchase. 7:00-10:00 pm.

Sunday

Family Bicycle Transportation Day: If you want to learn more about biking with kids then this event is for you. There will be many cycling options on hand to try, including bakfiet and cargo bikes, trail-a-bikes, front-loading child seats child seats options, bike trailers, tandems, electric-pedal assist electric-assisted bikes, helpful accessories and more. There will also be information and resources covering safe routes to school and work, tips on riding with children, and bicycle maintenance. Oregon Manifest Bike Union (539 NW 10th at Hoyt), 11:00-4:00 pm.

Spooktacular: This LGBT family party will have pumpkin carving, face painting, live music, caramel apples, and more. Q Center (4115 N Mississippi Ave), free, 2:00-4:00 pm.

Monster March: Join tons of costumed families, Portland Fire Bureau and their fire engines, and Portland Police motorcycles in this Halloween parade through Westmoreland. The march starts and ends at Llewellyn Elementary School (6301 SE 14th Ave). 3:00 pm.

UNICEF Carnival: Thanks to Kiddofor the heads up on this event, which will feature carnival games, nonscary Halloween activities and more. Don't forget your costume! All proceeds benefit the United Nations Children's Fund. Game tickets are 25 cents.  Presbyterian Church of Laurelhurst (935 N.E. 33rd Ave), 4:00-6:30 pm.

Halloween 2009: What's your plan?

This year, Halloween is on a Saturday!  What could be more fun than to spend the ENTIRE day in costume?  What are some fun events or activities for the kids this upcoming Halloween?  It's an open thread; feel free to share goings on & post a link if you've got one!

H1N1/Swine Flu: It's HERE

Flipping through Facebook updates, I noticed that a mama mentioned that her son was down with the flu.  A few comments later, she also mentioned that H1N1 has been confirmed in students at her son's school as well as at her daughter's daycare.  Later on this evening, my husband said drearily, "It's confirmed."  His colleague's husband and their school-aged son were also afflicted with H1N1.

It looks like H1N1 has made is appearance here in Portland - in schools and in workplaces.  Has H1N1 been confirmed at your school, daycare, workplace, or commuity at large?  For those who have decided to vaccinate for H1N1, have you done so yet?

Be sure to check out DHS' website on H1N1 in Oregon for more resources and information.

Three year-old talk-back: Phase or Friends?

When our little ones pick up a new trait, sometimes it's hard to know whether it's a phase, his/her personality, or the influence of peers.  An urbanMama recently emailed:

I really need some advice.  My 3 1/2 year old daughter recently started a new preschool and she's suddenly exposed to a lot of new kids, many of them older.  Since she started, she has been incessantly talking back.  I don't know what else to call it.  If I ask her to put her shoes away, it's "No!  You put YOUR shoes away!", she screams, tries to order us around, and has even tried calling us names like "stupid".  I realize she is trying things on for size, and we've had many conversations with her about why this is not a respectful way to talk to us (we don't talk that way to her, it is rude, it hurts feelings, etc).  She seems to like her school, so I don't know if this is a normal 3 year old development or if we've got a real tyrant on our hands.  I'm embarrased to say I don't know how to deal with it and it is so frustrating to be bossed around by my child.  Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this kind of behavior?

Weekend Warriors: October 16-18

Looks like it's going to be a wet weekend, might be time to revisit some favorite urbanMamas rainy day activities, part I and part II.  If getting out in your raincoat and boots sounds fun, there is always the Hood River Harvest Fest. Have a great weekend!

Friday

Rose City Co-op Basement Sale: With over 35 families participating, this fund raiser is bound to have something for everyone. Gently used kids clothes, gear, and toys, as well household items. Rose City Park United Methodist Church (58th and Alameda), Friday and Saturday, 9:00 am-3:00 pm.

Apple Tasting Festival: The festival website says "67 varieties of apples to taste".  That is a lot of fruit! Plus live music, cooking demonstrations, kids crafts, free face painting, and more. It sound like Penny Puppets will also be performing a festival sing along around 12:30 pm. on Friday. Portland Nursery (5050 SE Stark), Friday-Sunday, 10:00 am-5:00 pm.

Saturday

Book Fair Fundraiser: This fundraiser for Lewis Elementary School (mention the school as you check out and the school gets 20%) has some fun times planned for kids. Lots of storytimes, crafts, kids yoga, and music. Lloyd Center Barnes and Noble, Saturday and Sunday, check link for details, 12:00-5:00 pm.

The Greatest Treasure:  This Play After Play production from China is about Pang and Li, one is rich, the other is poor. Each seeks happiness in his own way, together they will discover the value of simple pleasures.  Most appropriate for kids ages 2-9.  $7 per person over age 2, reservations required, (503) 772-4005. Saturday at 10:00 am and Sunday at 2:00 pm.

Symphony Storytime:  An Oregon Symphony musician will play and provide an introduction to his or her instrument and orchestral music. Gregory Heights Library (7921 NE Sandy), 2:00-3:00 pm.

Mr. Ben Family Concert: Come hear Ben Thompson (Mr. Ben to his fans) as he plays multiple instruments -- including guitar, ukulele, and banjo -- and sings fun original tunes and lots of favorites as well. Dinner and drinks for adults and kids alike are available for purchase.  $5/person, $10/family, Advance tickets available at www.brownpapertickets.com. Airplay Cafe (701 E. Burnside), 5:00-6:00 pm.

Sunday

Kids in Nature: Mushrooms:  Mushroom hunt amidst the beauty of Tryon Creek, learn how mushrooms grow, make mushroom prints, and sample a mushroom treat. For children ages 4-7 accompanied by an adult. $10/child (non-member) $8.50/child (member). Pre-registration required. 503-636-4398, sandi@tryonfriends.org, 10:00-11:30 am. 

Family Sundays at Portland Art Museum: Every Sunday in October, families can explore the Museum's displays of body adornment and jewelry, with family tours at 12:30, art projects from 1:00 -3:00 pm, and storytime from 2:30-3:00 pm. Kids under 17 are free, adults are $12.  

Seeking Professionals of Color in Portland

Diviersify, diversify, diversify.  That's what they say about investing and we have the same belief when it comes to supporting our community.  We recently received an email from a new Portland urbanMama:

I have a question I'm hoping you can post to the site.  We're a transracial family new to Portland. I try to support people of color in business whenever possible and also like my kids to know adult professional people of color. So, I'm looking for any recommendations for your readers have for dentists, doctors, lawyers, hair cutters/stylists, etc, who are people of color.  Being in close-in N, NE, or SE is especially great.

Thanks a lot H1N1: Limited Visitation by children at area hospitals

We delivered a little guy about three weeks ago at Legacy Emanuel Hospital.  The one night we spent at the hospital, we spent in our room along with our two other children to allow our new family of five to begin to get to know one another.  A couple of nights later, another friend of ours delivered their second child at Legacy's Good Samaritan Hospistal.  They, too, spent the night at the hospital as their new family of four.

When visiting together earlier today, my mama friend reported to me that Legacy would have a new rule in effect: no children under 18 may be visitors in the family birth centers because school-aged children have higher rates of exposure to the flu.  In addition, only two immediate family members or support persons could be present at the birth and during the mom's stay.

Apparently, Legacy isn't the only one.  The Providence Health System is also instituting the same policy at all of its establishments, effective October 9, 2009.  An urbanMama recently emailed:

I am heartbroken!
 
I'm due to give birth on October 26th with baby boy #2 at St. Vincent.  I've been so looking forward to my 3 year old son getting to meet his brother for the first time at the hospital.  For the entire 9 months, I've had this vision in my head of my husband bringing my son into the room and being able to show him his brother for the first time.  I want "that picture" of big brother holding little brother at the hospital, like almost every other mother in America has.  Now, because of concerns over the Swine Flu that will not happen.  I'm just sick with disappointment.
 
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to put anyone at risk and I think it important that everyone is kept healthy, especially in the hospital environment.  But I wonder if there is a place on the maternity ward floor where babies could meet their siblings?  I've already called St. Vincent to ask, but so far there is nothing.  I will call and talk with the head nurse on Monday.
 
Are there any other urbanMamas struggling with this new "visitation restriction" policy.  I understand that every hospital in the metro area has adopted it including OHSU.  I would love to hear what others have to say.

Fall-time tricks: Keeping the little folk warm at night

The temperature is dipping, both inside and out.  An urbanMama recently emailed to learn your tricks for keeping the kids warm:

I'm wondering if other mamas have some great suggestions regarding keeping toddlers warm at night and not keeping the house at a daytime (warmer) temperature. My little guy moves around and rarely stays under the covers.  As the cooler nights have set it, he has begun to wake more frequently because he is cold.  And although, we talk about pulling the covers up when we are cold, he doesn't quite get it. 
 
He is closing in on three years of age and isn't a fan of the fuzzy sleepers with feet any longer. He is also mobile, so I am not a big fan of using any type of space heater.   Any ideas?

Life with a newborn: the gift of meals

Over the course of the past several years, I been by friends' sides as they have delivered new life into the world.  And, in ensuing weeks after their babies' births, I have delivered meals to their homes and ooh'ed and ahh'ed over their cute little snuggle-bugs.  One such meal was (embarassingly) a Papa Murphy's lasagna that I brought over to Sarah's house after Truman was born.  Alas, life is so busy for us mamas, with or without newborn.  It is a wonder how delicious, nutritious, fresh homemade meals are made by us busy mamas.  But, they are.

Today, my thrid child is three weeks old.  Already, I have been the gracious and humble recipient of meals and treats and even a few hours of donated time as mama's helper from a fellow mama.  There have been cakes, soups, pot pies, cookies, kale, bread, salad, wine, pasta, and chicken verde.  With all the fixin's.  Delivered to my door, which I open, unshowered, unbrushed, unrested and generally smelling of a savory mama milk and baby barf blend.  To you all, I am so grateful.

This is a wonderful gift to a new mama, no matter how many times I have been a mama to a newborn before.  It gives me time to cuddle with my littlest fella.  It gives me time to focus on helping his two big sisters with their homework or reading.  It gives me a little time to fold some laundry, because there is oh. so. much. laundry.  Every day.  And, a supremely lovely part is I don't have to think about it, I don't have to worry, I don't have to plan.  There are so many other things I need to be doing - namely nursing, diapering, sleeping, and putting someone else to sleep.

It all started weeks before our baby's arrival.  I was asked if we had any dietary restrictions (we don't) and whether we'd prefer meal deliveries every day or less frequently (every other day would be great, thank you).  And, voila!, our friends sent us a schedule of days we could expect a meal delivery.

So, now that I'm done oozing with my love and thanks, I ask you: have you been a recipient, participant, or organizer of one of these meal trains to serve the families of newborns?  Anything you would suggest for a seamless flow of food to the recipient family?  Anything else that seem to be "must-have" in-kind contributions for a family of a newborn?